Girlfriends are great!

These are my top 3 verbal cartoons by Dan Liebert. I haven't read all of them but of the ones I have read, these are the best. You can find more on the McSweeney's website or at www.verbalcartoonist.com. I've often been tempted to use this blog to just collect together McSweeneys stuff.

But Who Will Play Me?

If they ever make a musical about my life, there will probably be a lot of songs about jacking off and pizza.

Roaches.

Roaches haven't changed at all in 60 million years—except for this one: I just put tiny velour underpants on him.

Feelings.

When women ask you to share your feelings, I found out that they really just want to hear about love.
They don't give a damn if you're feeling "patriotic and hungry."

Secret Plan

Auckland readers, I have some news for you. Remember that secret plan I talked about a couple of months ago? Well, here it is: Come the end of this semester, I’m moving back to Wellington for about 6 months. The reasons are twofold, firstly, because I’m bored of Auckland and miss my family/friends back in Wellington and secondly, because I need to save some money and that’s way easier in Wellington. The money saving is so that I can afford a round the world trip next year that will hopefully fill up the remaining 6 months (probably more). The reason the plan has been secret for so long is that whenever I hear friends are leaving the country or city or whatever, I stop taking such an interest in them. Why bother making friends with someone who’s going to be gone in a month right?

Miss Lady and I did not make it to the metal show last night. I am sorely disappointed. Will I ever find a metal date? We could not find filter coffee and she was sleepy. She almost said the L-word last night but I stopped her. It has been a week. She is crazy. She says she might come to Wellington with me which seems like a lot of responsibility for me. Plus we won't be able to live with my parents as that would be weird. I reached 1000 downloaded google image search pictures, here is #1000

I'm only doing this because Dut asked/threatened

I ate some really bad Vietnamese food. I used the carrot pieces to write my name.


I would really like there to be one of those old style Pizza Hut family restaurants near my house. I would pretty much live there. I would be Jabba the Pizzahut and people would come to me get loans and maybe get people whacked (with cholesterol). I would eat pizzas by folding them in half and eating them like sandwiches.

I would be so fat if I could afford it.

Capital Effort

So yes, great birthday but apprently I am now also no longer single. Not quite sure how that happened. Things are getting pretty dramatic round the flat because of it though. I really shouldn't be as motivated as I am by a need for drama.

I would be less mysterious but I really have no idea who's reading this.

Today I thought of a good title and then forgot it. True story

I'm so tired that i'm not even going to try and write the presentation i'm meant to be doing tomorrow. I'll just hope that with enough sleep i'll be charming enough to get the lecturer let me put it off.

I feel I really dropped the ball on hosting my wellingtonians today. I got us lost for like 2 hours and we ended up going to an op shop which smelled like poo. Not a great day.

It is my birthday in 2 days, maybe I can use that to get out of things. All I want is booze and maybe jeans which don't lead to indecent exposure. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?

I think i'm failing uni. at least i'm not going home in the holidays.

What a great weekend (i'm counting Thurday as Friday and Friday as Saturday). Imported friends are the best.

I'm so proud, I met 3 News cutie Jesse Peach last night. He's My mum's favorite TV personality and is almost as cute in real life (although he wasn't wearing his usual slightly-too-big-suit). I now have the best ever addition to her birthday present:

Captain's Log Stardate Whatever

I'm really thankful to Prime for sorting out my Sunday mornings; 1.5 hours of non-stop Star Trek. Sadly I never wake up in time to see the first one.

In other TV-related news, it really sucks that all the good tv is between 10pm and 2.30am.

A couple of days ago I accidently gave away my secret plans through the medium of song. I was absent-mindedly singing them while waiting for the kettle and only realized after Alice asked "Are you really?". I think I got away with it anyway.

How does the whole stardate thing work? If everyone travelling at near light speed all the time wouldn't everyone be in totally different places temporally? Huh? Trekkies?