An open letter to C4

Dear C4,

Why do all your shows have to be about bad kids? I would love to see a show about kids who do all their homework and go to bed at 9:30. Maybe they could get some advice from their parents and then follow it. That would be right up my alley. You don't have to be crazy on drugs to have a good time; you can ride a bike, play a board game or learn a musical instrument.

Yours faithfully,

Chris

It was alleged that, in addition to having been sexually abused, they saw witches fly, traveled in a hot-air balloon, and were taken through underground tunnels. When shown a series of photographs by Danny Davis, the McMartins' lawyer, one child identified actor Chuck Norris as one of the abusers.

"Flippin tops mister!" They all say

So I'm always telling my students that the best way to get good at writing is to practice regularly and I figured I should probably give that a go myself. I'm often surprised by how crap I am at writing, I generally assume that i'm going to write something awesome until I get distracted and junk.

School's pretty shitty. All my students are whingey little dicks who need to grow up. I end up spending hours of my time working on stuff so that they can get away with being lazy.

I can't help but feel this comeuppance for being such a dick during high school. I was having a cry about how shit my students are going to be with their speeches and then I remembered that I performed my 4th form speech completely drunk out of my gourd. I stumbled up to the front of the room, said about 5 words and then wandered off round the school for about 20 minutes. I can't believe I didn't get in trouble for that.

I made a class website but its just full of insults

Wham

I have a whole lot of advice to give but all the advice is pretty specific and not very usable outside of a few very specific situations. For instance:

- If you have to bust a kid for smoking, don't actually say what they're being busted for; just tell them that they have to follow you. They get all confused and don't get the chance to plead their innocence.

Fancy man

You know I probably spend about 30% of my internet time reading web comics? That's quite a lot. I'm not even really a comic fan. I have a bad habit of sitting down and just reading 3 years worth of one comic in a couple of hours. It's pretty frustrating because it means I then have to go out and find another one to read. I think I'm running out.

I don't really know what else to do on the internet though. I don't know anyone with a really wikkid ass blog so it's just me and facebook most of the time.

I haven't gotten any better at blogging over the last couple of years.

I have gotten real good at writing study guides though.

I think that might be what I do once I get bored of teaching. I could probably churn out about 1 study guide a month. If I distribute them myself for $25 a copy then I could probably make around $30,000 p.a., more if I collect them together and get it published.

Sweeet.

Back

Hi!

Crazy Heart is a pretty good movie. I just watched it today. It made me think Colin Farrel was ok which is a pretty big accomplishment.

On Friday I had to have a heart-to-heart with a bunch of teenagers. It was kind of funny. I'm not that great at counselling. All my year 9s are getting whaled on by year 10s. The year 10s are dicks!

Bye!